The Right Reasons

Never before in the history of mankind has the question been as perplexing as it is right now. Sure, there have always been opinions and guesses. Some educated. Some not so educated. What is it that makes a person “a right-wing extremist”? Finally, I have the answer. Well, at least an answer for my personal situation.

Before breaching the answer to this oh-so important question, let’s look at the definition of a right-wing extremist. According to our illustrious leaders in Washington, a right wing extremist may be groups and/or individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration.” It also includes those that favor state or local authority over federal authority. In a report that Fox News reporter Mike Levine contributed to, our all-knowing Homeland Security Department also suggests that returning veterans are attractive recruits for right-wing groups looking for "combat skills and experience" so as to boost their "violent capabilities." It adds that new restrictions on gun ownership and the difficulty of veterans to reintegrate into their communities "could lead to the potential emergence of terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks." So let me get this straight. Every red-blooded American is now an extremist. That’s hog-wash. But who am I to argue with the powers that be? They know better than me. Yeah, right and Al Gore invented the internet.

Now to the reason that our government considers me a right winger. After careful thought on the subject I have come to the conclusion that (drum-roll please) my Mom is the underlying reason for my right wing extremism. I know, I know, they always blame it on the Mom. Well in this inShanece, she is just going to have to take it.

My Mom married young and had nine children. When people ask her why she had so many she answers matter-of-factly “I married an alcoholic Catholic”. Well that jerk up and left her with all of us right after I was born. I have never seen him and I am a better person for it. But, that didn’t help my Mom. There weren’t give-away programs then like there are now. Not that she would have taken advantage of them anyway. We didn’t see Mom much when we were little. The older children took care of the younger children and as for me, I stayed with my grandparents. Mom was right back at “work” immediately after my birth so her only option was for my grandparents to keep me. Of course she came by to see me often, but she didn’t have the luxury of hanging around. She had to go to “work”. For many years she “worked” two or three jobs. She did whatever it took to take care of her children. Most of the time, shoes and clothes were sparse. My older brothers and sisters missed a huge portion of their school days due to the fact that they had to watch the younger children. But, that didn’t stop them from succeeding. It actually gave them the incentive to push harder. We all acquired that “can do” attitude from my Mom.

The oldest of the clan, Bubba, volunteered for the Army during the Viet Nam War. He had to get my Mom’s signature to get in because of his age which she reluctantly gave. He really felt the need to support his country and do his part. I know that she didn’t want him to go but I also know that she was very proud that she had raised a young man with such a desire to serve and protect. Unfortunately, while walking point thru the jungle in Nam, he stepped on a land mine. He was thrown forty feet in the air. I can remember him telling me that the only thing he could remember was screaming out for Mom. Bubba lost one leg just below the knee and the complete use of the other leg because of all of the shrapnel embedded in it. I remember the night that my Mom got the telegram about his injuries. She was sitting on the chair under the black phone that was mounted on the wall in my grandmothers kitchen, crying. It was really late at night and all of the commotion woke me up. When she saw me come around the corner she tried to hide her tears. I guess she didn’t want to freak me out. Well, some months later, Bubba came home and eventually he moved on with life. There is so much to say about Bubba. I could probably write an entire book about him. You have heard the term “give the shirt off of your back”? Well that phrase should have his picture next to it. He firmly believed that if you were “good people” he wanted to be there for you. But, if you weren’t “good people”, you had best move on or face the consequences. He was very protective and proud of his family and his country. Bubba was an incredible man. “One-of-a-kind”. If you notice I am referring to him in past tense. We lost him to cancer a few years ago. I can’t tell you how bad we miss him. None of us quite like Mom. They were very close. He regularly dropped by with flowers or a couple of sacks of groceries for her. Not for any special reason, but for a special Mom.

Next in the family line is my sister, Sissy. Sissy started her family young like Mom. She has three beautiful girls and five precious grandchildren. She definitely got Moms gift of cooking. Being the primary bread winner of her house, she “worked” in restaurants for most of her girls school age lives. She “worked” tirelessly to make sure they had clothes (that she stayed up and sewed for them each night) and all of the other things that they needed to get thru school. When I was younger, I can remember watching her and thinking how much she reminded me of Mom. She “worked” meticulously and tirelessly to make sure the food that left the kitchen was pleasing. Sissy is about as soft-spoken as a person can be. Unless of course, you tick her off. Even “the boys” were afraid of crossing that line. And “the boys” were fearless. After her girls graduated, Sissy went to college herself. Since then, she has acquired one degree after another. She now lives and “works” in Chattanooga, Tennessee where she enjoys the natural beauty and outdoor activities that the state has to offer. All the while she has remained the jokester that we all love. You can never put anything past that woman. One afternoon, my Mom and Dad went to one of the casinos on the other side of the river for a couple of hours. Sissy found out that about their trip the day before they left and she took off herself from Chattanooga and drove to the casino timing it to be there at the same time as Mom. She watched the door until she saw Mom walk in. Once Mom was seated at a slot machine, Sissy slid onto the stool beside her. Mom played the machine for a few minutes before glancing over her shoulder to see who might be beside her. I wish I could have seen the double-take and look on her face to find her daughter, who lives twelve hours away, sitting there. I laugh just thinking about it. I am so proud of Sissy and I am so glad the she is enjoying the life that she “worked” so hard for…..she deserves it.

Now we come to Deedee. Deedee married after high school and moved with her Army husband to El Paso. After his enlistment they moved back to the area with the first of two boys. She “worked” at a local credit union while her boys were growing up. One summer, she hired me to watch the boys while she “worked”. I really enjoyed being there with her family. She came in from “work” every evening and started doing the “Mom” thing. Washing clothes and picking up the mess that I had allowed the boys to make. My Mom gave me a lecture about helping her out around the house more. “She works all day” she would tell me. “The least you can do is pick-up around the house to help her out.” She was right of course. (One thing that I have learned…..Mom is always right.) Deedee decided to go to college and obtain a degree in instrumentation. After graduation she landed a job at a local laboratory. We were all so proud and happy for her. Well Deedee’s boys grew up and they started their families. One of the boys had one child, a little boy. Her other son had three girls and recently a baby boy. Long story short, Deedee and her then husband, Steve, decided to adopt the first born grandchild in order to give him a better life than his natural parents could offer him. You see, this precious little fella was born with autism. Shortly after this life altering decision, Steve, the S.O.B, up and left my sister to raise him on her own. Here she is a grandmother not only thrown into a divorce but thrown into a situation sure to tear anyone down. Deedee didn’t let that stop her. She “worked” and saved and went back to school in order to provide a well established life for her new responsibility. She graduated this time with a degree in radiology. She picked up her life and moved two or three times trying to find a job. Unfortunately, there were no openings that would support her lifestyle with an autistic son. She moved back to our home town and returned to “work” with her previous employer. Within the last year she went back to college and obtained a certificate in AutoCAD in hopes of capitalizing on the abundance of “work” the refineries were offering in our area. Alas…..a recession. All of these things have made Deedee a stronger person and I admire her commitment to her son and his well-being. It takes a special heart and a special person to give up their entire life, which she has, in order to take care of a loved one. And special is an understatement when it comes to her.

Well next in the line-up is Matt. Matt is always a difficult one for me to describe. He died in a car accident when I was in the seventh grade. Before that he had been gone for some time. Matt signed up for the Navy right out of school. I remember that he broke his ankle playing ball while in the Navy. He came by my Grandmothers house to visit when he was in. I can still see him coming around the corner with a beard and on crutches. My Grandma told him to shave that beard and be more careful next time. From what I do remember about Matt, that wasn’t going to happen. Well at least the be more careful part. I still have a picture of him in mind when he was probably fourteen or fifteen at the table arguing over a food. The Shaneding word around the house was, “never get between Matt and his food”. My older brothers and sisters tell great stories about him. But of all of the memories I have of him, I remember the day that Bubba was coming home from the hospital after being wounded. Matt promised me that I could have his horse, Speckles, if I ran out and gave Bubba a big hug when he arrived. You see, I was afraid of Bubba without his leg. I was only five years old and it scared me. But I loved horses and was willing to do anything for Speckles. Besides, Matt explained that it would hurt Bubba’s feelings if I didn’t give him a hug and kiss when he got home. I can still remember running up to Bubba as he got situated in his wheelchair from the car ride home and giving him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Later that day, Matt assured me that Speckles was mine from then on. Not that I could take care of the poor thing but for a five year old it was a big deal. I wish I could remember more about Matt. His tour in the Navy was up and he was scheduled to come home just a few days before Thanksgiving. He was killed before he had the chance. I remember the men in uniform coming to the door asking for Mom. My brother and I were out of school for Thanksgiving vacation when they came by. We told them that she was at “work” and gave them the name of the restaurant. Later that afternoon, my brother and I were walking back home from the corner store when we saw Mom walk into the house. We were so excited that she came home early, that we ran all the way home. That’s when we discovered why she was there. The men that had come by the house that morning had went to see her at “work” and they gave her the news no Mother ever wants to hear. Once again, she stood strong for all of us. We all counted on each other growing up and that made us a very close family. We were all each other had. So losing Matt took its toll on everyone for a long time.

Darla is next up on the roster. She was always an independent soul. She “worked” waiting tables thru her high school years and moved out right out right after graduation. She left the waitress job to work for a local supply company setting up their computer system. At some point she moved to live and “work” in Lafayette, LA. That may have been where she met Jim (her husband) but I can’t be sure. They moved to College Station where she “worked” managing an apartment complex. I really can’t remember how long she lived there but I do remember going to visit her. She was great about inviting me to stay with her for a long weekend. Eventually they moved back to Lafayette to be close to Jim’s family. They had good jobs, “worked” hard and bought a home. Before long they started a family. They had three beautiful children. (One girl and two boys) At some point “work” soured and they were faced with some decisions to make. They knew that they had to do something to provide for their children so they threw caution to the wind, sold everything they owned and moved to Chattanooga, TN. Risky move right? Did I mention earlier that Darla is an independent soul? Well the risk paid off. Darla went to “work” as the manager of a company and Jim landed a job with his brother. They bought a beautiful home on the side of a mountain and settled in. They have raised three awesome and respectful children. And I would like to mention that all of them have taken on their parents work ethics. What greater reward is there in life for a Mom, than to look at her children and be proud of the adults that she helped them to become? Trust me she has a lot to be proud of. All was fine until there was a cut back where Darla “worked”. She actually found herself out of “work” for the first time in her adult life. But, do you think that would stop one of my Moms kids? Not hardly. She took the opportunity to do something with less stress not to mention something that she always loved. She went to her back up and started waiting tables at Cracker Barrel. (Waiting tables was a pre-requisite to be one of my Moms children.) She loves her job, makes great money and even made employee of the year. Her last one will graduate this year so who knows what she will do next. Darla has a wonderful outlook on life and she will keep you in stitches. I miss her living close by but I am so glad that she is happy and doing well. God knows she loves to visit with people and we all know that people love visiting with her. That’s a win – win situation for everybody.

Another brother comes in next. His name is Dane. He was always a good student and from what I can remember, he enjoyed school. Dane went to “work” for a plumber right out of high school. Like most of us, he started a family young. He needed more stability and more of a future than the plumbing business could offer so he searched for a place that he could possibly make a career. He went to “work” for McDonalds. Oh no, not managing or waiting on customers. He went to “work” in the kitchen, flipping burgers. He “worked” every shift that they allowed him to “work”. Day and night, night and day. It was seldom that you could catch him home. It paid off though. Before long he started moving up. From cook to register. From register to assistant manager and eventually to store manager. Quite an accomplishment, right? Remember, he is my Mom’s boy. From store manager he went to district manager. Then from district manager he went to regional manager. Now, all of these promotions are wonderful but with each of them comes extreme responsibility. Not a problem. For Dane, the more responsibility thrown on him the better. It all has the sweet smell of success and that is his favorite fragrance. What next for him? Well what else but owning a McDonalds. Just on the chance that you aren’t familiar with the way a McDonalds franchise works, not just anyone can walk up and buy one. It’s a very big deal. But of course, it’s no hill for a stepper like Dane. As a matter of fact, one wasn’t enough so he bought another. And then another. At one point I believe he had five. Now is that payout for some hard “work” or what? And don’t think that just because he owns them that he can sit home and rake in the doe. It doesn’t “work” that way. There were many months and years of back breaking “work” trying to get a store to turn a profit or at least sustain itself. He and his entire family would spend many hours behind the counter and/or in the kitchen making those stores tick. Of course it isn’t uncommon to get an email or text from him while on some island vacation spot. He thinks he is so funny sometime. Well, actually, he is. Dane is great husband and father of four children and grandfather of two. He is constantly doing things to help take care of my Mom. That makes him a great son as well. And as for me, he is a great friend and big brother.

Shane is up next. I have the fondest memories of our childhood. He and I were close in age so we hung together most of the time. It was something different everyday. We of course didn’t have video games or anything close to that so we used our imagination for everything. One day it was cowboys and Indians the next day it was Captain America and Spider Man. We collected coke bottles and took them to the corner store in exchange for money to buy some gum or candy. Once we took a ride on Speckles like we knew what we were doing. Well we lost the reigns and Speckles took off down the road at a full trot. Shane, being the tough guy he has always been, jumped off. I was amazed. He was probably eight years old and it looked like a fifty yard drop to the ground but that didn’t faze him at all. Of course, I was left on the horse but my hero brother finally got him stopped so I could get off. I was so proud of him. And as proud as I was that day, I am so much prouder of him today. Shane has “worked” for as long as I can remember. He joined the “work” program in high school which offered him to opportunity to “work” half-a-day and go to school the other half. Like all of my siblings, he knew that if he wanted anything, he was going to have to “work” for it. So, he rolled up his sleeves and got to it. He “worked” at Gibson’s on Eleventh St. in Beaumont and then he went to “work” at Sutherland’s for quite some time. During that period, he met his future bride. Before too long they married. Eventually he started driving a truck for a medical supply company. A few years later, along came their one and only child. He was such a handsome little boy. Of course, he came by that naturally. I don’t know that I have ever seen a daddy so proud as my brother. His whole life had been completed. And naturally, he became an extremely busy man. He has coached and/or attended every function or sporting event that his son was involved in. All the while, he “worked” hard, took his job seriously and started advancing up the ladder. Today he is the manager of a medical supply company. He is highly respected and has been offered bigger opportunities but his first obligation is to his family. Shane’s priority is seeing to it that his son completes his engineering degree and lands a great job. Every aspect of his life has been wrapped around his sons life to the point that it’s sometimes hard to tell where one of them stops and the other one begins. Since the day that he and his wife brought that baby boy home, Shane’s life has rotated around being the best father any dad could ever be. I must say, he has more than accomplished that.

I guess I am next. I really don’t like talking about myself so I will make this one short. I worked at a couple of different fast food chains during my high school years. And, like the other girls in the family, I of course waited tables for my Mom. As I mentioned earlier, I worked watching my nephews one summer which earned me $500 to buy my first car. It was a rust colored 1971 Cutlass. I say rust colored but it was only that color because of all of the rust. I have no idea what the original color was. After high school, I attended beauty school in hopes of a career in cutting hair. About three months before graduation I realized that it just wasn’t for me. So, I went back to work. I took a job at a local T-shirt store where I worked for about a year. During that time I met a real piece of work. Talk about high insight. Needless to say I ended married to a slug and had three children to feed. I waited and bused tables during these pregnant years just to make sure that my babies ate. Someone had to. I never understood the fact that he didn’t find it necessary to work. My brother Dane actually made the comment one time that he had never seen a person work so hard to not work than he would have if he actually did the work. I finally had enough and went to college. I obtained an Associates degree in AutoCAD and went to work for a local engineering firm. I divorced the slug and married the world’s greatest man. He eventually adopted all of my children in order to give them a normal family life. After all, the slug scrambled out of state leaving behind a $45,000 child support debt. He gladly signed over custody when the attorney general agreed to wipe all of his debt away. All of my children made it thru high school and have moved on, with the exception of my youngest. She has a couple of more years of college and then on to graduate school. One of my daughters gave us the cutest grandson in the world and we are expecting a second one in a month. My husband and I have been blessed with good jobs. We work long hours when the job demands it but that’s alright. More hours means more money. More money means the more we can do for ourselves and our family. That’s always a good thing.

On to my baby sister….Maggie. Oh my, what a hoot she is. Maggie was a permanent fixture at the counter of the diners my Mom ran. She would sing and entertain the customers all of the time. I guess it was only right that she followed in Moms footsteps in the restaurant business. She deviated from the business just long enough to work in the retail market and meet a great guy named Cliff. He is quite the character himself. They married and had two of the prettiest little girls anyone has ever seen. Maggie is absolutely the best at what she does. She can make any gathering a party and turn a tuna sandwich into a work of art. Her customers were always loyal and they all loved her dearly. She has always been the type to have genuine concern for others and it shows in everything she does. At the restaurant she tried to make sure every person that walked thru the doors felt at home. She took special consideration to the elderly patrons. I have actually known her to see an elderly person in public, eating alone and take her food to sit and visit with them. Her heart is as big as Dallas. Her ethics are equally as big. It takes a certain type of person to run a restaurant. Many times the phone would ring right after she had gotten home and someone on the other end couldn’t come to work. You know what that meant? Maggie had to turn right back around and take over for them. And when you run an all night restaurant, that call could come in at midnight. Guess what, it did on plenty of occasions and she would get up and go in. It was her responsibility so she did it. There were times she would go and pick up members of her staff because they had no way to get there but needed the work. When they were sick, she would bring them soup or pick up their prescription. It’s just how she is. Well unfortunately the iconic restaurant that she took over for my Mom finally closed down. Not due to lack of customers or anything like that. The owner didn’t take care of his business and it had to shut down. It was a sad, sad day. But it was a new opportunity for Maggie. She went to work doing inside sells for a while. But, sitting in a room by herself for most of the day was just not her cup of tea. She has to be in a position to mingle with people. Cliff agreed to take on the role of sole bread winner allowing Maggie to spend her time with her girls. How great is that? I told you he is a great guy. She spends her time taking care of business at her home, for Mom, her girls and whoever else might need it. Myself included. She only thought work was tough in the restaurant business. Being a stay-at-home Mom is quite a chore.

Well, now that you have an overview of my siblings can you find a key quality that we all share? It’s the one thing about each of us that my Mom has more to do with than anything else. (Except maybe for our noses.) That single trait is our ethic. We were raised that you do not get something for nothing. If you want it, “work” for it. There is no money tree nor is there some pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The rainbow is the bridge that you build with your own two hands and the pot of gold is the paycheck you get for building it. We don’t take hand outs but we are all willing to give to others we see trying to help themselves. Picture this, a shack of house, holes in the floors and a plethora of children running around barefoot. That was my Moms world. And she alone had to make sure that we survived. Christmas and birthdays must have been so depressing for her. One Easter, a neighbor, out of kindness, left a slew of Easter baskets on the porch for those of us that were born at that time. Apparently it infuriated Bubba to the point that he asked Mom to take them back. And if I have my story right, she did. He was just a kid and refused a handout. Mom instilled that in us to the point that to this day I have a hard time allowing anyone to do anything for me. It drives my husband insane because I get upset at him if he spends money on me. (He does it anyway) If I want something, I will go and buy it. I can because I “work” for my money. And because I “work” for it, it’s mine to do with as I choose. If I choose to buy new shoes, a new pistol or a Hummer, I can. It’s mine. If I choose to give it to charity, my church or give it to my kid, I can because it’s mine. I earned it. If I choose to spend it on an anti-abortion campaign, I can. It’s mine. If I choose to give it to a fund for injured soldiers, I can. It’s mine. I mention these things because these are the things that I enjoy doing with my money and I do it whenever I can. I believe in defending this country, I stand by our Constitution, our troops and my Bible. I believe in backing up our police officers, firefighters and good school teachers. I believe that marriage is between one man and one woman. I believe that children should stand and place their hand over their hearts when reciting the pledge. I believe that invocation should be given before any public event and that boys should be made to take their hats off. I believe that people, and not the government, should help to take care of each other. I believe in the death penalty and I hope the authorities find the SOB that set the fire to our State Capitol (which is another fund I choose to give my money to) and send him there.

Well I guess that seals the deal. Apparently by believing in the founding principals of our nation, all of which are based on Christian values, I fit the profile of a right-winged extremist. At least according to our Department of Homeland Security I fit the profile. And the country has my Mom to blame. It’s all her fault for showing me what its like to hold my head high and be proud of my accomplishments. To “work” hard for what I want and always, above all else, never step on people to do it. “Live by the Golden Rule” was something I can remember her saying. It was important that we live our lives putting ourselves in other people’s shoes. To this day she will say, “Well, you don’t know what is going on in their life that makes them act that way”. But, in the same breath she will interject “But that doesn’t make it right so don’t take that off of them. Just be sure to pray for them this evening”. We should let her run the country for a while. Believe me; she would have the entire place on track and running like clock-work. I could see it now….Mom sitting in the oval office, writing down the day’s priorities with a sign over one shoulder that reads, “I have the right to refuse service to anyone” and one over the other shoulder that reads “Protected by Smith & Wesson”. She is quite the shot too so folks should take it seriously. One would think that with all of the years of struggling that she went thru, Mom would be bitter. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She loves to laugh like no one that I have ever seen. I actually try to think of things all day to call and tell her just to hear her laugh. My God I love her laugh. I wish the whole world could hear her laugh but unfortunately for them, they can’t. We are pretty protective of her. You see, she is our Mom and that’s one thing we won’t share. It’s unfortunate for people that didn’t grow up poor for at least a portion of their life. To know what it is like to build character and appreciation for things and people. As unfortunate as that is, it’s even more unfortunate for people that didn’t have the pleasure of growing up poor with my Mom.